Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
