We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
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he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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