she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
