Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
