I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
