Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
