You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
