If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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