ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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