she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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