i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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