I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
