Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
