So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
