Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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