does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
