You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
