I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
