Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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