We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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