If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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