imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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