Umm I'm too high to move.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize