Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
bring money and cleavage
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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