A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
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Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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