I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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