She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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