i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
