thus making me awesome and them whores
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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