i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
