we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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