I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
