Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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