Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
