I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
