It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
