So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just had sex on a roof
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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