Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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