honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
