If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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