Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
