It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
