I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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