Only a mothe r could love this liver
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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