My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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