I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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