maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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