my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize