he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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