i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
