Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We need a shit load of segways right now
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
