I'm so fucking centered right now
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
