Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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