dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
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did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
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Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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