we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
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