You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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