he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
