I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
