would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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