im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
