I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I need a beard to bite.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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